? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
