TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize