Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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