Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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