absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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