About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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