you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
