Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
