I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
last night I used snow as a chaser
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
