no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Terrible idea I love it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
