So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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