Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
