my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
