it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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