yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
