There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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