What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
