I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
