We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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