you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
