You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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