i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
