I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
