Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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