i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
