if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
