He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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