I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
