my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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