i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
