i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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