Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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