i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
