Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
