is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
