dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
