So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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