Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize