I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I love you. Go after that dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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