We won't sleep together?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize