hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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