My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
