I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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