you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
