i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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