Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
