I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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