The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
