The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
