The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
