Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
