This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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