Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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