dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
