i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize