I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
