hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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