I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
