I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
