I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
