Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
