Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
NoShamevember. You game?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
