Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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